Laying Down My Life
by Ice Dagger
Summary: Set prior to and during the third movie. Why would a great demon lay down his life for a mortal woman? Not only because she's bearing him a son. A look inside why he had to die. Disclaimed


A/N: This is just a fic trying to get back in the mind set of Inuyasha, seeing as I haven't written a fic in that category for quite some time. I just watched the third movie a bit ago, and thought I might as well try my luck at writing Inuyasha's dad. It's really a shame you don't see his character more. Anyhoos, I'll stop rambling and let you read. Don't forget to review!

"Can we really do this?" Izayoi had asked me. I sighed and looked up at the sky, cursing the fact that it was the night of no moon. I found myself sorely missing how the silvery light usually lit her face so brilliantly. We were forced to settle with the harsh, flickering glow of torches and lanterns so she could see me. "I am a human after all. And you are a great youkai." I smirked up at the blank circle where the black moon hung in the sky. I felt oddly proud of myself when I heard those words in her voice. She thought I was great. To be perfectly honest, I am great. It is part of my title, after all. "The strongest in the land." My chest swelled with pride. At least she knew that much about my strength – but I did wonder if she truly understood what that meant in the world I grew up in. Humans and youkai judge strength on different levels; a strong human is very weak according to youkai standards. But muscle and power are not the only factors of strength in human society. I could tear down the castle where she lived with no worries besides how many splinters I would have to pull out of the fingers when I finished. Yet I was always so, dare I say, nervous when it came to Izayoi. I was terrified of making a fool out of myself around her. I am pathetically weak in that aspect. "And you're son . . ." She didn't need to finish that sentence; I knew what she was trying to say. I had already mated – with one of the strongest **kijo** known to Japan. But she was gone now, dead. And it mattered little since I mated her solely for the sake of an heir. Granted, during the short time they had together I came to enjoy her company, appreciate the way she looked after my pup. But I never got that fluttering feeling in my stomach when I looked at her, ever felt heat rise to my face when I brushed my hand against hers. Never felt such a need to protect her as I did Izayoi – as I still feel for her.

I lowered my gaze, letting my eyes readjust to the firelight while looking over at Izayoi. Her eyes were trained on the floor, her delicate hands clasped tightly in front of her. My ears picked up the sound of dirt sifting – she was shuffling her feet beneath her long pink kimono, probably digging the toe of her wooden sandals into the ground – I was fairly sure they were the cherry wood shoes with the red fabric strapping, they are her favorite. I felt myself smiling – something I can only do in her presence. I can smirk, lift an eyebrow meaningfully, and even sneer should the occasion call for it while in the company of my fellow youkai. But a true smile is only possible while I am with her. I took a step forward, lifting her chin with a single finger. Those great chocolate eyes caught mine, and a soft smile graced her sakura petal lips. "Why should any of that stop us?" I asked her softly, running my free hand carefully through her hair. She closed her eyes and lifted a hand to rest on mine, as soft as a butterfly landing on the first leaf of spring.

It was that night I laid her down and allowed myself to show her the extent of my love. I knew it was wrong of me to do so – I was endangering the mortal woman I love, ripping her away from humans and thrusting her into a life of solitude. I knew what I was doing would put her in danger, but it wasn't until tonight that I fully realized the extent of the damage I had done. _Tetsuaiga, let me through. _I cut down every obstacle, nearly tearing apart the castle plank by plank to get to her room. I smelled her blood, felt her pain. It was unbearable. I almost lost her – would have lost her. _Tensaiga, save her – let her live._ If that sword had not been strapped to my hip, she would have – I cannot bring myself to think of that. Even has I stand here amongst the flames, feeling my strength slowly drain away the pain is nothing compared to the heartache that wrenched through me when I saw her bloody body lying there, arms loosely wrapped around my half-demon child. The sheer fright of hearing him crying out and not hearing her voice soothe him made my blood run cold. That's why I'm fighting now, despite the fact that I know I cannot win – even against this puny mortal man. I know I don't have the strength to finish him off without exhausting myself. But if I don't fight and stall him, he'll find her. And what life is there without Izayoi? There's my older son to raise. There's a land to watch over and rule. There are other, smaller demons to keep in place. I'm trying to imagine that life. And I feel only misery there. A life without my woman is no life that I want to lead. It is well worth loosing myself so that she and my newborn pup may live.

This is what I have to protect. My mate. My pup. My family. I have to defeat this warrior. I have to kill him before I die. I have to keep them safe. My life is theirs. And without them, I have no life. I can only hope my sons Inuyasha and Sesshomaru find that someday.

Forgive me, Sesshomaru – I know you do not understand why **chichiue** has left to protect this human. But this is something I must do.

Forgive me, Inuyasha – you will never know me the way I wish you could. **Otousan** will not be there to watch you grow. I leave you a life of hardship.

Forgive me, Izayoi – you shall never be accepted into either world again, because I could not bring myself to let you go. And now I can only fend off this monster until my body gives out.

_Sougaa, give me the strength to defeat this man – let me protect them. _

kijo – demoness

chichiue – father – very formal

otousan – father – less formal


End file.
